Countdown

2 Mar

The big debate here is whether or not I’m going to write the entire story of why this is happening or just let it be to what it is.

Moving.

I met my ex-boyfriend in 2008 after I had left my ex-husband. Contrary to popular belief, I didn’t cheat on my husband. Never have and never will. After two years of an abusive relationship and being the only breadwinner I had enough and moved in with my grandmother. That’s when I started dating A (I’m removing his name because he’s a google investigator and will flip out if he sees it). Things were amazing from the start. We had a lot in common and it was a really good perspective from what I was use to.

Side note: I married my ex-husband at 18. First “real” love.

In 2008, we moved into our own place with my son. A small apartment, close to his college and not that bad of a commute to work. We worked together, we lived together. It was hard. Trying sometimes but we got through it.

It wasn’t until Summer of 2010 that the whole 24/7 thing got bad. Arguing a lot and snide remarks lead to the next thing that happened.

I don’t constitute cheating as right. I never do. You’re with someone, you should be in it or out of it.

So I decided to be out of it.

And sadly I’m still here.

Financial issues and then I lost my job last month. I agreed in October to be out by the first of April, which is one month from now. Truth is, I’m freaking out. I never moved somewhere without a job or at least some kind of financial back up that will keep me sleeping alright at night.

And another thing is, I hate not working. Yeah, I love being able to lazy around in my pjs all day long and the fact that I can spend more time with little man is great. But getting a regular paycheck every week, or every other week, or even monthly, keeps me calm. Being able to support my little man and to get him the things that he wants/needs is a releasing feeling that I can take care of him.

So for right now. I’m praying that I get a job, any type of job and soon. That I can find a home for me and my son and that I can receive the help that I need.

These are the days where we look towards God for enlightenment.

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