2 Mar

The big debate here is whether or not I’m going to write the entire story of why this is happening or just let it be to what it is.


I met my ex-boyfriend in 2008 after I had left my ex-husband. Contrary to popular belief, I didn’t cheat on my husband. Never have and never will. After two years of an abusive relationship and being the only breadwinner I had enough and moved in with my grandmother. That’s when I started dating A (I’m removing his name because he’s a google investigator and will flip out if he sees it). Things were amazing from the start. We had a lot in common and it was a really good perspective from what I was use to.

Side note: I married my ex-husband at 18. First “real” love.

In 2008, we moved into our own place with my son. A small apartment, close to his college and not that bad of a commute to work. We worked together, we lived together. It was hard. Trying sometimes but we got through it.

It wasn’t until Summer of 2010 that the whole 24/7 thing got bad. Arguing a lot and snide remarks lead to the next thing that happened.

I don’t constitute cheating as right. I never do. You’re with someone, you should be in it or out of it.

So I decided to be out of it.

And sadly I’m still here.

Financial issues and then I lost my job last month. I agreed in October to be out by the first of April, which is one month from now. Truth is, I’m freaking out. I never moved somewhere without a job or at least some kind of financial back up that will keep me sleeping alright at night.

And another thing is, I hate not working. Yeah, I love being able to lazy around in my pjs all day long and the fact that I can spend more time with little man is great. But getting a regular paycheck every week, or every other week, or even monthly, keeps me calm. Being able to support my little man and to get him the things that he wants/needs is a releasing feeling that I can take care of him.

So for right now. I’m praying that I get a job, any type of job and soon. That I can find a home for me and my son and that I can receive the help that I need.

These are the days where we look towards God for enlightenment.


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